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Bionic Man Hands
Sitting in the truck with the spoons in the bag,
when i get to 18 spoons i think of TNN
and that reminds me of all those sad nights alone
in the truck, with the spoons and the bag
thinking why have all these people
placed themselves in my direction
during the coldest winter solstice that i have ever lived through,
she told me that she loved him
and with all her might she left me
and with all my shame i cried

she wants to know why her hands, why they have to be this way, bionic man hands.

driving in the truck, with the bag or the spoons
we drove past his fragrence
but she says his just a fad
but she did it like before
when she did it just to hurt me
and just like before
she really hurt me
10 days later i was better
she was burning when i meet
her arms around me
and my pride was gone,
i couldn't see past that

When I Get My Superpowers

down town!
i gotta get the beans
the beans they make me strong
they help me sing this song
so you can sing along
while taking hits from the bong
beans power my pants of silver and gold
the are new they are not old
the don't grow mildew, they grow mold
they have a legend,
so i'm told

when i get my superpowers
i would use them for four hours
i would grow giantic flowers
when i get my superpowers

they can't save my life
or even get me a wife
but they can change the smell of my pee
to make it smell wonderfully
so i can piss right in the bank
and no one will think i stank
my pee will smell so great
i can piss right on the gate
i can piss right in the store
and they'll be begging me for more
people wil come up and say
can you piss on my house on wenesday?

when i get my superpowers
i would use them for four hours
i would grow giantic flowers
when i get my superpowers

my baby,
she left me one day at the beach
she traded me for some pants
THEY'll
LOVE
MY
PANTS!
PANTS!

well i'm ready glad i had this chance
to tell you of my magic pants
that really help me sing and dance
so i can become the king of England
i thinki meant France
did i mention i love cool ranch
doritos
they taste so good.

the three one song

i really wish she knew how i felt
she's some one special
that i could fall in love with
some one special to hold my hand
and smile back up at me
when i'm rockin with the band

when she smiles the world seems to innocent
she helps me forget all my pain of yesterday
why couldn't she be with me always
why can't she here the things i want to say

but then i start to think about how nothing ever really works out
in my mind and in my past
all good things
they never last
i think of her and start to cry
look back and i wonder why
all good people get to have to live
and all good people have to die

well, if i'm gonna tell her
i'm should tell her today
maybe she would see me in a differnt way
then i could see her everynight
then everything would be alright.

Anthem Of The Tuna

We Don't Care About the Dolphins
Wwe Just Want our Tuna Tastey!

well i'm sitting in my laguna
and i'm eating all my tuna and it's oh so good
just like it should
tuna, don't you ever change
you're the best!

TUNA!
why you gotta let those
DOLPHINS!
They're such ginat
BASTARDS!
why they gotta eat my TUNA!

oh oh oh oh oh
yeah i know flipper, he'sa good guy
oh oh oh oh oh
but what about my chicken of the sea
oh oh oh oh oh
yeah i know flipper, he's a good guy
oh oh oh oh oh
tune this is your ANTHEM!

i eat it in my bed
and i put it on my head
yummy yummy tuna
oh so yummy yummy TUNA!

everyday, hundreds of thousands of tuna die
and at what coast?

Channel59 Theme Song

Yippie Ki Yo Ki Yippe Ki Yea
Yippie Ki Yo Ki Yippe Ki Yea

Well the band started a while ago
at ours friends house (named James)
All we did was photo shoots
and try to think of names
Well now this is the band that you see there today
And this is what we do
AND THIS IS WHAT WE SAY

Yippie Ki Yo Ki Yippe Ki Yea
yippie Ki Yo Ki Yippe Ki Yea!
well we sang out our best buddy Godzilla
and we sang about our good pal, Aunt Jammima!>
Yippie Ki Yo Ki Yippe Ki Yea
Yippie Ki Yo Ki Yippe Ki Yea

Yippie Ki Yo Ki Yippe Ki Yea
Yippie Ki Yo Ki Yippe Ki Yea
HEY!

Samuri Warrior Ninjas

well i'm coming home from AJ's
when i notice something is wrong!
the ninjas are all over
and they brought their swords along!
they must be here for battle!
they must be here for me!
these ninjas are also samuri so take them seriously!
so I says "hey ninas, hey what the hell?"
and they says "Chin Chop Chew Chop Chop Chew Chow!"
well, i must make them happy, while they are here
so i buy them ninjas porno!
and i buy them ninjas beer!

ninjas in my bath tub!
ninjas in my sink!
ninjas waving bye bye
ninjas giving me the wink
ninjas of all types
they aren't just guys
Jamie Lee Curtis, really nice eyes
well, i wish i knew their motives
but they're polans i do not know
you stupid freaking ninjas
why don't you freaking go!
you ninjas with swords!
you ninjas with sticks!
you ninjas with vaginas
you ninjas with dicks!

samuri warrior ninjas
they got swords
they're gonna kill ya
so you better look out
they're coming to your house
they got sharp sticks
they got sharp swords
oh my goodness!
its Traci Lords!
damn you ninjas!

I Wish I Was A Robot

I wish that I was a robot
So I could be reprogrammed
and become a dancer on Soul Train
I would wear a fluffy jacket
I would wear shinny pants
I would bust a move

Robots don't cry
When they don't get what they want
They usually just try to kill people
If I was a robot,
Would I kill the ones I love?
would I kill the twos I love?

What would stop the Rock and Roll armogedoen?
Maybe the told banishment of chords G,C, and D
Not that I don't like Louie Louie
It's just that everybody uses them thar those chords

If i become famous what will I become famous for?
Dancing, or wanting to be known for dancing?
time will tell
Or will it cover it's eyes at the sight of such evolution?

The Night I Got Caught Drunk

Growing old and grown up
all these years have been wasted?
We were young and confused
Our time never tasted
so good and so real. The clock stopped in vain
Futility seemed but reality remained.
And the world that is see that is so far away
Well it pushes me closer and closer each day
To the point where forever and yesterday clashed
Where the real is created and reality smashed.

She knows I
Couldn't withstand all her Pain
She knows I
Know she didn't die in vain

Even now that shes gone
And I still carry on
As if shes right by my side
all this pain I cant hide
With her body's so frail
But her spirit so strong
Everything for a reason but some reasons seem wrong
And those days where I could hold her hand
Nothing went wrong nothing went out of plan
Well she's gone, so now I can't

Skabba Fett

well a long time ago
in a land far far away
lived bobba fette
all he did was cruise around this galaxy
receiving bounty for anyone he could get

c3p0 oh oh oh oh
han solo
chew bacca hew bacca.

well max rebo was playing the keys
in his max rebo band
when he noticed a blista on his fanga
so he walked right up to jabba the hut

Rudy the Rooster

The words to this reaalt don't make sense, Dan kinda has a story he follows but makes up the words as he goes along. Heres what he usually tries to ramble about:
rudy moved to southern mexico now you know that's the place to go and if you ever find yourself there i really hope that you care that rudy had no place to stay and rudy had no money to pay for a place to call his home so all the streets he would roam rudy met bob the parakeet the nicest bird he'd ever meet and they went walking down the street to see who ever they could meet but there wasn't anyone there but they didn't even care they went to catch a show they didn't know it was over though. well rudy and bob were sitting down at there favorite corner bar and it was the first of the month so they were spending all of bobs' social security no bob wasn't old, bob was a midget, and as everyone knows: midgets collect social security. well rudy and bob were trying to figure out what to do that night when in walked two familiar faces through the swinging bar doors and the lights in their eyes sparkled and a smirk appeared on there faces that was their last night in good old mex-he-co. well rudy and bob woke up the night day in a small camp ground in Arizona they found tatoos on their body and empty bottles by there feet the other two had left they didn't know how they got where they where or why but that day they came upon a new out look on life: find out how to remove tatoos on your cheek that say hot miget sex

Channel 59 New Wave Dance Party

she's my baby
she's the top
she's my baby
she's the cops
she's the ladder
in which we climb
she's my baby
all the time

then we all count one two to seven
then we all count one two to seven
then we all count one two to seven
then we all count one two to seven
end

Penguins At Night

where do the penguins go at night?
i dunno, i dunno

Karate CHOP!

why do the wolves have to kill my family?
why do the wolves have to kill my family?
they drag them to their pits
tear out their brains
they drag them to their pits
tear out the the brains

Hi! I'm a ninja!
How you doing
Kartie CHOP!

Mr. X

He just sits there in his 4 room apartment
5 rooms if you count the closet
Where he hides the bodies of the people he loves
The people that make him his money

Mr. X makes manequines for Macy's
He hopes that
One day they'll replace the old ones
Worn out and wasted
The old ones that he has made before

Rumor has it that he's Dr. Klaw
Moved to New York city after the show was cancelled
Ever since he moved to NY
He's never been out on the city streets

The One About The Cars

Let's just say that Europe blows up, who's gonna but Volkswaggon?
Volkswaggons are made in Europe and they make Volkswaggon buggs.
If Europe should just happen to blow up, who's gonna buy Volkswaggon?
It'll probably be one of those crazy foreign investors
Let's just pray that it's not Honda.

Let's just say that carla takes over the whole world
The whole world except for Spain
Would Carla start to ban variety, just like those crazy foriegn investors?
But Carla's to busy to take over the whole world
The whole world except for Spain
She's to busy working for Volkswaggon
Making sure those blinkers blink on then off

They don't wanna drive them Hondas!
They just want Volkswaggons!
They don't wanna drive them Hondas!
They don't sell themselves anymore

John Leguizamo

John Leguizamo!
True Urban Legend!

Well, It's a good thing
For our crappy ska
Or we'd we sitting at home
Putting together puzzles
We'd be making
Little oragami figurines
Even though
it mean so much to me!

A Pyromaniac's Love Story
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar!
JOHN LEGUIZAMO!!!!

Echoes of Denver

Echoes of Denver remind me of sadder
times and sleeping friends
like sweet Catherine
they don't know why Catherine cries out his name every night
but they just look at her and in vision the future
when Catherine will tell them all about Johnny
so she can cry for a reason that night
echoes of denver keep me from home
for reasons other than the expected complications
it's the cold sound she makes when on the phone
when the conversation dies
when I apologize for her parents
who know my name but not like she cares
she has the picture to hold forever
or until she burns it and asks for a tissue
to wipe her hands of the blood she sees
but they don't help her but
she doesn't care she just looks over and smiles at me
All songs written by Channel59. Copywrite 1999 Channel59 Music. Don't rip them off, they suck.

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